Thursday, November 23, 2006

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

Got this mail from a friend....
... some food for thoughts ...
...CHEERS!!..
Dove
I find this line true.....,
Love You A Ton
"The key to succeeding in marriage is not just finding the right person,
it's learning to love the person you've found."
Love Forever
For sharing. Those who are still single may learn something from here....Those who are already married may take it as a point of reference...
*
...DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?...
Bride And Groom
During a seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered how do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer....
Surprise
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Gondola Kiss
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
Dutch Oven
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. Or all of the above.
Out The Door
And they co-exist in a loveless marriage for Life. But is this entrapment, or a marriage? But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.
But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
Dove
...THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND...
Dove
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Love Boat
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.
I Love You Flowers
....Love in marriage is a "decision"...
Not a feeling....
*
Running In Field






12 comments:

Kak Elle said...

mulan marriage is like a magnet u need both sides before it can works....what if you think you have the wrong partner?leave him?NO try to make the marriage work and begin to love each other:)

Kak Elle said...

wah dah ada lagu skg ...

MULAN said...

kak elle: tq 4 d tips on lagu etc!! memang la kak elle, masa bercinta, dating belakang lori sampah pun, kira wangi macam bunga ros dah tu..!!! ha ha. bukan mulan tu tau. kami masih honeymoon hingga kini. but the mail was a very good read..

Lollies said...

he completes me. cewah

Idham said...

setuju seratus peratus....Love Is indeed a VERB....it is an action...kena buat bendea la to stay in love....bukan boleh goyang kaki je..

buat benda ? aha, contohnya la..
1. pagi2 bangun tu picit2 bahu dia (ni contoh dari org tua la !)
2. sesekali surprise dia dgn nota cinta dlm briefcase dia...or dlm almari baju dia...

cukup la dua contoh...

kami ni dah 23 tahun nie....berkawen, masih boleh tanya ka soaalan tu"dow do i know if i married the right person?" aha..rasa cukup tak sesuai la...
tak kan belum tau heheheh...malang nya mereka yg masih belum tahu itew..

atau pun buat2 tak tau ... *wink*

idham

MULAN said...

lollies: alhamdulillah for u & me & others too.. apa rahsia? boley share kaaa, yg extra2 tu?

bro id: hahh.. ni kena belajaq dari bro yg dah experience habis ni. maybe this topic not for u.. he he.. kasi tips & advice je la bro id.. ilmu tu!!

Anonymous said...

the answer the the question is YEs.. i am married to the right person.. and how true the article is.. this is a cool entry mulan! :0)

MULAN said...

simah: me too.. alhamdulillah.. sikit2 ter & ter tu kira macam demam utk org sihat la kan.

oldtown~Smell the Roses said...

Hi,salam kenal. First time singgah ni.Blhkan?

maklang said...

maklang pun nak belajar dari Abe Id. 23 tawon dah u...maklang baru 15 je...


Tapi Atok dan Wan dah going to 43 yrs, Alhamdulillah...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MULAN said...

ot: welcome..welcome.. tak de restristion.. salam to u too..

maklang: maklang pun kena bagi tips2 ni.. dah 15 tahun tu..